Deserving Attention

   Picture Courtesy: Ankita Pal Chhotray

Dear Akanksha,

Wish you and Aarya a very Happy Birthday!

It gives me immense pleasure to publish this blog on your birthday. Arya’s birth on your sixth birthday was the most remarkable coincidence I have witnessed in my life. I feel proud to see you both growing up, especially you getting involved in your parent’s business during your vacation. The best part is you even started enjoying it. Eighteen years back, I remember the only ambition you had was to marry Hritik Roshan. LOL! Time flies!

In these many years, we have evolved from neighbors to friends or let’s keep it simple ‘Soul Sisters’. The foundation of our relation is the ease to be able to communicate our views and perspectives to each other. We have the ability to discuss and provide sufficient information. And when I say we discuss, we don’t just talk but try to understand each other as well. Now that’s what I call ‘being friends’.

Since you will be a graduate soon, and I am sure you will be a skilled architect, I want you to learn and understand other aspects of life as well. None of the universities or colleges will teach you, and your parents can’t even think of discussing this with you. Of course they can’t, or else they will be judged by society. They can’t seek your attention! Confused?

Let me explain you. I came across a family last month who didn’t proceed with marriage alliance because guy’s mother had a concern that along with me there will be additional responsibility of my parents. Reason? Because we are only daughters. Before you react and say those obvious three words I would recommend further analyzing her statement. Let’s understand her fear and view. She thinks my parents will need attention, and her son will have ‘additional’ burden to manage two families, one of his own which I (in case married) am obliged to look after and other one is of my parents who were termed as ‘additional burden’. Why? Because they didn’t reproduce a son to look after them.

Now you must be thinking why I am telling this to you? Well she had a point. She made me realize one of my vital responsibilities, in fact everyone’s responsibility. So first let’s be thankful to her. Where was she till now? Now think about this, she just reminded us of the fact that our parents do need ‘attention’ and our parents (those having daughters only) are not even seeking it, whereas they deserve it. They are different. I have seen majority parents educating and bringing up their son/s with an expectation of being repaid in old age, but our parents were so altruistic while bringing us up. Their sole purpose was to make us capable of being on our own, with no expectation of any repayment and let’s make this clear they were never and still are not even near to seeking attention of someone else’s son/s. When people quoted them as incapable of having a son (trust me people did), they had audacity to bring up not one but two daughters by providing us better living standards. So tell me who deserves more attention?

Hence I have decided to provide them a better life. Of course they are more financially stable as they were not relying on their son/s to look after them, but money is not their only requirement. Unfortunately many matured and experienced people from our society still evaluate relations with money. Our parents have emotional needs as well. They need our time as well, and I think they own it. Like any guy’s parents, even our parents need our emotional support, even they want to enjoy and rejoice our moments. Even they are humans, even their health is important and nothing is wrong if their children look after them. Hence, I want you to be more responsible towards your parent’s emotional need. They are special. Before committing for lifetime to anyone we should first stay committed to our parents. Remember, anyone can dump us or replace us with someone better, let it be friends, lover or partners but our parents can’t even think of their lives without us. So who is more loyal here? Don’t you think their love and loyalty deserves our attention?

Spend as much time as you can, give your parents a life full of laughter and fun. Buy them gifts, do something special, make lovely memories with them and the best gift will be to make them realize you are responsible and capable of making wise decisions. Let them know you can make right choices. Try to gain their confidence so that they can relax and have a happy, wealthy and healthy life.

But do remember one thing; never forget to love and respect that person and his parents who will make this execution easier for you. There you see we derived a balanced equation, now everyone will get the ‘deserving attention’. Problem solved!   

Yours,

Rishu Didi 

‘I can’t breathe father, I’m lying on floor;

Licking my wounds, can’t guard this door.

Why didn’t you mention about cruelty?

Why didn’t you show this awful reality?’

‘I know it hurts, you’ll learn to bear this pain;

I went through it too; you’ll be able to walk again.

Get up and take your position, hold your sword tight,

Remember this time not a soldier, but a Daughter will fight. ’