Shieldmaiden

‘One can see the influence of birth place on their skin tone. No one can say they are sisters,’ said one of the potential groom’s mother. Ma cut the call and asked my sister to ignore their interest on matrimonial portal. But does that help? No!

‘You are telling me now, why didn’t you let them meet me? Let me show them my true colour, or may be their true colours. And you think they are educated?’ I asked my sister.

‘It makes no sense now, it’s been more than six months, and I shouldn’t have told you,’ replied my sister, who was already regretting to bring up this topic which flew me into rage.

‘You know what, just delete all these profiles, I can’t take this shit anymore. What the hell people think of themselves? They can say whatever they want? People are so void of emotions. They just discriminate others on the grounds of colour, caste, creed, religion, gender and may be there might be a day when discrimination will be on the basis on name. Say people with initials ‘A’ should be seen with more respect than those with ‘B’. Like seriously? Where did the humanity go? Did it ever exist? You should have actually allowed them to meet me. I really want to meet them now. I swear I will not be hurt,’ I insisted.

‘I know you will not be hurt, I am scared they will be,’ she giggled.

‘You find this so funny, isn’t it? Actually, it’s not your fault. You have never faced such discrimination; you have no idea how humiliating it is. This starts right from those fairy tales. First of all, each and every princess in these stories is beautiful and villain is ugly. And if you define beauty of a woman, she has to be fair, slim-trim with long hair and beautiful eyes whereas villain will be depicted as dark toned, may be fat woman. So basically right from our birth, we are taught to believe that beauty is in materialistic achievements. If you have dark tone, anyone can dump you for a fairer one. No matter how skilled you are. Also your prince charming has to be a rich man, a heir of an empire and not self made hardworking one.

 You remember why I didn’t participate in Cinderella play in school? I was not ready to settle on step-sister’s role, because teacher believed in giving Cinderella’s role to a fair girl who was not able to deliver a single dialogue properly.

Forget about teachers, I know people who call themselves well educated, rational, practical, intelligent, socially responsible and cynical, but have dumped their long term partners for better looking partners. Is this world all about appearance? Do we have to be beautiful to survive?’ I loaded her with questions which I wasn’t sure anyone can answer.

She lifted her mug, had a sip of coffee and smiled. Well, there is something special about my sister’s smile. She smiles like a winner. I’ve seen this expression before, especially before any argument. She knows she will win. She kept her mug back on table and asked me, ‘Why are you reacting? What made you lose your inner peace for people who are no one to you? By losing your peace you just proved that anyone on street can have their influence on you. I know they compared you with me, and I know it hurts. I have been there too. But that doesn’t mean you hurt them back. You are not winning here.

You say I’ve never faced discrimination, well let me tell you, I was always criticized for being overweight. Let’s say I was fit, they would have found some other fault in me. Discrimination is a thought process which is being passed from generation to generation. It’s set of perceptions people are forced to believe in. Every person has been discriminated on some or other grounds and as a response they channel it to others. These people aren’t healed yet. They are still licking their old wounds. To suppress the pain, to boost their egos they hurt others whom they find weak in some or other aspects.

Those dumpers you were talking about are people with low self esteem. They can’t stand their own choices and decisions. I am sure you don’t want to be with such people.

Remember, you can’t change someone’s moral values. They believe in their own institutions.’

‘So you want me to sit quietly and smile in response to their rudeness?’ I asked her.

‘Why does their rudeness has impact on you? I want you to ignore. Not everyone deserves your attention. Instead of highlighting their faults, focus and help yourself to grow. Be patient. You don’t always have to prove yourself to them. Learn to showcase your wisdom by fighting back with your inner peace. Don’t react. Just ignore them.’

‘Who will educate them then?’I raised my concern.

‘That’s none of your business. People learn from their mistakes, but only when they want to. When they are not willing to learn, why do you want to teach them? Their sole purpose was to hurt you and they did. If you really want to help people, help those who are suffering. Learn from their mistakes. If discrimination hurts you, it hurts others too. You should form your own institution of compassion. Teach people to save their inner peace. Help those who lost their confidence in humanity, appreciate them, heal them.

 But before that, heal yourself. Fairytales exist; you have to create your own. Write the one you believe in. Have faith in life and life will give you that due respect and love you are seeking.

Don’t be so vulnerable; don’t let others steal your inner peace. You have to lay down your shield and drop your swords of words. Just be invincible, wisdom shall be your strength ’, she smiled again.

May be I know the reason behind that charm. She has not let anyone take her peace away; she knows how to guard it well. Source of answers to all my questions was sitting right in front of me, a ‘Sage Shieldmaiden’.

‘Don’t say those words if you don’t mean it ’

She stood up to walk out of room,

‘You’re the one to make me fall on my knees’,

Years later he was her Groom.

‘What a beautiful story, what a beautiful bride’,

‘It’s not easy to be her; she’s my sister and my pride!’